A New Start

Attention readers! Well, reader! Oh, okay – just me.

After years of using WordPress I’ve decided to switch my portfolio over to Weebly. I feel the site is a better fit for what I’m after. I’m able to combine a casual blog with a smart looking portfolio. So long story short, you can now find my latest stupid, pointless musings and work that somehow managed to get published over at SimonBland.Weebly.com.

Yeah, yeah… I’ll eventually get rid of that .Weebly.com bit, don’t worry. In all seriousness though, if there actually are people following this blog it’d be great if you’d follow me over to Weebly. I’m going to try and blog more. Promise.

Who am I kidding? This is a bit like a conversation with my self.

Note to Simon: Get milk.

Blog: Found Footage is Dead

Can we all agree that found footage is dead? Like, as dead as the ghosts that found footage movies are always trying to film? There’s no way you can legitimately get away way making one these days with a straight face. If ever there was a genre that has been done to death, this is it. Like any movie gimmick or innovative new angle, it’s been used, abused and bastardised.

A Movie A Week #31: St. Vincent

There are lots of things you can do with Bill Murray if you’re lucky enough to have him appear in your movie. One of the most rewarding, as Sofia Coppola and Wes Anderson have found out, is to place him in the midst of a real feel-good story. St.Vincent, the impressive feature debut from writer/director Theodore Melfi taps into this morish Murray quality with ease and provides one of the most rewarding performances of 2014.

A Movie A Week #30: Boyhood

Richard Linklater’s Boyhood is a quiet epic. By now, anyone with even the vaguest interest in movies will no doubt be aware of the film’s unique gestation, however for those not in the know, here’s a quick catch up. Shot across 12 years, Boyhood follows its lead actor (and those around him) from childhood to maturity. Linklater and his team filmed intermittently in week-long stints from May 2002 to October 2013, revisiting the film’s key players at key points in their lives.

A Movie A Week #29: The Guest

Writer-director team Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett have been ones to watch in the horror genre for the past few years. Their eye-catching segments in anthology series V/H/S and The ABCs of Death alongside their slick features You’re Next and A Horrible Way To Die planted them firmly on the map of astute genre fans everywhere. Their latest is The Guest, a sort of mutant hybrid of First Blood and Halloween that marks the duo’s most ambitious – and most enjoyable – work to date.

5 Films You’re Guaranteed To See At Christmas That Have Nothing To Do With Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. All those markets, movies and songs are a right give away.

We’re spoilt for choice these days. For Christmas lovers there are festive films galore and even for those who are a bit more Scrooge than Santa, there are Christmas films in disguise; Die Hard, Gremlins, Batman Returns, Trading Places…that warm fuzzy feeling sure is hard to avoid.

But there’s more still. What about Christmas films that have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas but for some strange reason we still associate with fairy lights and a half empty box of Quality Street? It’s a weird one but Christmas just wouldn’t be the same without…

A Movie A Week #28: What We Do In The Shadows

Living with your friends is never easy. Flatmates never pull their weight; they don’t tidy and it’s such a pain in the neck when they bring victims home, get blood stains everywhere and then refuse to clean up the mess. Well, maybe that last one is a little niché but it’s certainly accurate of ace Kiwi-comedy What We Do In The Shadows. The new horror mockumentary from Flight of the Conchords’ man Jemaine Clement and his Eagle Vs Shark collaborator buddy Taika Waititi takes a hilariously kitchen-sink look at the day-to-day (or should that be night-to-night?) mundanity of undead Vampire life.

Remembering Robin Williams

Robin Williams was one of those actors that you kind of took for granted. He may not have been majorly in the public eye during recent years but there was a certain amount of comfort in the thought that he was quietly kicking about somewhere, doing his thing and making people laugh. A lot has been said during the past few hours as those who had worked with him pay their heartfelt respect but they are few compared to the number of fans he leaves behind. We’ve already heard from those who have lost a friend, a colleague, someone they knew – which makes it all the more strange for us: the fans; the people who felt like we knew him purely due to the impact and longevity of his work. It’s a bizarre and almost irrational thing – to develop an emotional response over the death of someone who you’ve never even met, and yet you only need take one look at Twitter today to see how many people are sharing the same feeling.

Rhys Darby Reveals The Correct Way To ‘Aye’

That Rhys Darby. He’s a funny bloke, aye.
His stuff in Short Poppies and Flight of the Conchords was hilarious, aye?
And his new one, What We Do In The Shadows…That looks great, ayyye!?

Confused. Me to. The phrase ‘aye’ is huge in New Zealand. Chances are you heard it banded around every few minutes during Flight of the Conchords by its comically gifted Kiwi cast but exactly how and when should it be used in everyday conversation?

A few weeks ago I caught up with Rhys Darby (AKA Conchords manager Murray Hewitt) for a quick chat ahead of his current UK stand-up tour. Before our interview came to an end, I thought it’d be a crime to pass up the chance to get a first-hand tutorial from the ‘Aye’-master himself. What follows is a dissection of the phrase and a detailed explanation of how you can incorporate it into your day-to-day life.

That’s good, aye.

14 Reasons Why Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is Underrated

2014 marks the 30 year anniversary of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, one of the most controversial sequels in geek culture. Immediate reaction to this dark prequel wasn’t kind. After all, it sees our fedora wearing hero flung into the depths of occult madness and child slavery. No easy sell. Story man George Lucas was to blame for the film’s divisive tone, hoping to utilize the same brooding uncertainty that made The Empire Strikes Back so popular to Indy’s advantage. Fans didn’t really agree and a few years later even director Steven Spielberg admitted it was a risky move and one he wasn’t quite sure paid off.

Time has a way of providing perspective though and with two more Indiana Jones sequels available to fans (one golden, one made of questionable crystal), Temple of Doom feels deservant of a second look. Here’s 14 reasons why Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is the one of the most underrated follow ups of all time…